Vice President Harris officially accepted her party’s nomination on Thursday night with a speech that was confident, patriotic, and pretty damn presidential. Here’s the TL;DR, in order of appearance: hard work; family values; civil rights; fight for the little guy; Trump’s an asshole; January 6; democracy at stake; protect the middle class; jobs; economy; lower costs; cheaper groceries; Trump tax; your body, your choice; gun violence; gay stuff; clean air/water; climate change; voting rights; border security; space; cease-fire soonish but big hearts to Israel; wait, here’s a bone to Palestine too; folksy wisdom from Mom; strength; freedom; opportunity; dignity; We Are Not Going Back, We Are Not Going Back, We Are Not Going Back. That was pretty much it, and after four days of nonstop Democratic Party boosterism, I’d been so inundated with the message that Kamala Harris is the most qualified candidate to ever run for president, one who will usher in a new era of prosperity, that by the time she took Doug’s hand and retired backstage for a drink and a smoke, I almost, for a second, believed it. But then I remembered that politics is theater, that Joe Biden stepped down only because Nancy Pelosi held a gun to his head (and would have pulled the trigger), and that Harris was cast in this role not because the people choose her, but because Biden needed a brown woman to appease activists and then his brain turned to mush. A month ago, the only thing left of the KHive was four gay guys in P-Town snorting Adderall off a wicker coffee table; now it’s half the country! Whoever scripted this deserves an Oscar.
